If you watched BET’s hit series “Being Mary Jane,” last night you watched an intense yet serious moment in Black TV history for Black women. Mary Jane I must admit is very relatable yet extreme at the same time. However when Aaliyah and Mary Jane sat at the office table to prep Mary Jane for her potential interview regarding Lee’s Show (Lee is MJ’s ex boyfriend) the conversation got heated. It was actually more like a monologue, because Aaliyah sat quietly.
Here is what was said by MJ: “His project is trafficking in the same tired tropes.” “Black women are crazy, Black women are promiscuous, Black women are angry.” “But, have Black men ever taken responsibility for driving us to that?” “We live in a society that treats us like we’re the bottom of the barrel when it comes to romance.” “Couple that with constantly trying to prove ourselves as worthy enough, right?” ” Be confident baby girl, but not intimidating, be smart but not emasculating.” “Never enough but too much, too damn much, all at the same damn time.” “Men are encouraged to objectify our bodies, but the minute we search for sexual satisfaction oh baby we are called WHORES!”
I am sure that some people probably took this as Mary Jane being angry, or bitter even though that is not the message nor intent. However, does Mary Jane make some valid points? Shouldn’t Mary Jane have the right to be angry when she, and other Black women are looked upon as a last resort? The bottom of the barrel and/or less beautiful? Has anyone taken the time to discuss why many Black women feel the way that they (we) do? Of course Black women discuss these things amongst each other, but does anyone else care to listen for understanding instead of hearing us to respond and downplay our plight?
The truth of the matter is Black women are constantly walking on eggshells trying to be enough, and not too damn much! Where is the balance in being smart, and then engaging in a conversation yet being perceived as emasculating because of what you know? How is being confident intimidating unless you’re in some form of competition? Everyone should be confident in themselves without being egotistical. Black women can barely take a sexy picture without negative backlash. Men are encouraged to objectify the bodies of women. Yet women can’t seek to be satisfied sexually.
What’s the point of even having sex if you aren’t seeking physical satisfaction and pleasure? The entire ideology of Black women being promiscuous comes from slavery, and I’m exhausted with explaining that! If you didn’t know Black women did not enjoy being raped! Being raped for years does not equal promiscuity! If a Black woman does consider herself (is) to be promiscuous or sexually fluid that does not give anyone the right to disrespect her or judge her. Even if you feel like she may be disrespecting herself you still should respect her, because you don’t control the actions of others, you control yourself!
Did Mary Jane just express to the world what many of us have been thinking and feeling? If you were constantly jumping through hoops to fit a picture of what someone’s idea of you should be, wouldn’t that make you crazy at some point?
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When I was watching Mary Jane talking about black women I couldn’t feel the echoing around the world! So many thing hit home it was awesome they allow her to share this point on a show I’ve been watching since the beginning just for this reason they bring up things that we as a whole are dealing with on an everyday bases hats off to the writers of this show and all the women around the world.
When the the show first came out my Mother called me, and said Mary Jane reminds her of me. Lol So many of her points hit home for me! It was so good to hear them on TV, because it makes you realize it’s not just you! In my case it’s not just me! I am so tired of walking on eggshells! I just want to be allowed to be myself no matter what! I love the fact that so many important topics are put out there to the public through the show!
I totally agree with MJ and her feelings. I believe we all have been there or can relate. In fact, one of my reasons I watch the show. Unfortunately, the world is cold and many people are angry! Honestly don’t think anyone will really agree to TRUTH!
I watch because I can totally relate to her on so many levels! Particularly work and dating! She puts the real issues on the floor, and pretty much force the conversation!
I remember a family member posted a meme on IG about how all these women have booking info but can’t read and I commented that men encouraged it. He said what do you mean? I said you all encourage women to be “booked,” to pose half-naked, to show off physical traits rather than educational ones. He deleted the whole post. And my point wasn’t to say, she shouldn’t be asked to get booked if she can’t read (hell, how y’all know if she can read or not?!), my point was to point out that as you stated, men expect us to be one thing, and when we are that, we are talked down because of it. But yes to everything in this post lol.
Im late joining the discussion but i loved this episode. She speaks to so many of us. Alot of things hit home for me as well. Crazy but this is by far my fav show aside from power