Do you remember how old you were the first time you were told to humble yourself or tone down your ambitions, in some way? It seems to be a theme in the lives of Black women. Something I’ve heard people say “there will always be someone better than you at something.” Why do we have a difficult time encouraging our girls that they are the best? We all know that confidence is the key.
Continue reading “My sister’s keeper”
This article is dedicated to Jas Waters (Jas Fly) a prominent journalist and writer on the hit show “This is Us” who committed suicide just before the quarantine was lifted. Jas was a successful Black woman who was at the height of her career. On the outside looking in, it appeared that life for Jas was good. She was financially stable, receiving notoriety for her work, and seemingly happy and living her life. Yet, and still, she had an internal battles that she succumbed.
A while ago there was a Twitter hashtag named #BlackWomenAtWork. The hashtag discussed all the racist and biased comments that Black women receive from their White counterparts. I participated in the hashtag, but to be honest, I hadn’t quite experienced a lot of what was discussed. I came from a corporate environment where Black women ran the office alongside a few White women. Black women were definitely the majority. Continue reading “Black women at work”
THE DIVIDE:
If you don’t pay attention to public policy, politics, and our ever changing culture, you could find yourself in a world of confusion. Most importantly, you have to know where you stand. There has always been conflict in the Black community because there has always been different types of Black people: The Black people that are simply trying to make it, and the Black people that think they are better than other Black people because their speech, hair, job/career, education, and dwelling spaces are different.
If you haven’t heard the female rap group duo City Girls remake of Salt and Pepper’s hit I’ll take your man,” you may want to check it out. It’s been played all over the radio and in night clubs. The City Girls album is full of raunchy lyrics following in the footsteps of other female rappers with Miami slang. Recently The group has been under a lot of scrutiny due to group member JT being locked up for previous charges of fraud, but the worst critiques have been based on group member Yung Miami’s speech (Yet y’all calling people that commit fraud to get y’all Christmas gifts). Miami first shocked the world when she asked if people wanted to get “flewed out” instead of flown out. There were so many comments and retweets making fun of the new rapper, she made a rebuttal. This week she’s being criticized for mispronouncing a city’s name in Michigan.
People have been verbally attacking Miami. Calling her dumb an idiot and everything in between. You don’t have to agree with the rappers lyrics, like their speech or like their truths. But what everyone should be doing is respecting the fact that they come from streets of Miami and are actively trying to improve their quality of life. What really bothers me the most is that I personally don’t believe they would receive such backlash if they weren’t Black women. Continue reading “I’ll take yo MAN!”
All little Black girls know the importance of getting their hair done. It has to be styled ever so correctly, or they run the risk of being teased in school and online. Other parents will say things like “Her Mother should be ashamed of herself for not doing her hair!” What is considered doing a little girls hair? Kids will call them ugly, nappy head, etc. Most people find that braids, ponytails (with straightened hair), or in a wrap. Just think about the comments made about Blue Ivy’s hair. This pressure of what your hair has to look like increases tremendously as an adult with different trends and styles being deemed appropriate. It’s constant hair buying, weaving, pulling, braiding, dying, perming, pressing, washing, blow drying, sewing and REPEAT! Continue reading “All little Black girls know the importance of getting their hair done..”
Photo credit: Marcus The Artist
It’s been a media storm since Serena spoke up for herself to an umpire at The U.S. Grand Opening. He accused Serena Williams of receiving coaching while playing. To add insult to injury, when she addressed the umpire about his calls he then charged her with abusive language. Serena stated that every time she is invited to the U.S. Open they have an issue with her. She also stated that men say whatever they want out of emotion and they are never penalized for those emotions of anger and frustration. Yet, Serena was being brutally punished. What Serena didn’t mention is the even bigger issue; Not only is she a woman, but she is a Black woman. Ultimately with the penalties and points taken from Serena, Naomi Osaka won the U.S. Open. With so much controversy surrounding the game Naomi didn’t really get to properly relish in the moment of winning. Continue reading “Success and being reminded of your Blackness: Serena”
If you watched BET’s hit series “Being Mary Jane,” last night you watched an intense yet serious moment in Black TV history for Black women. Mary Jane I must admit is very relatable yet extreme at the same time. However when Aaliyah and Mary Jane sat at the office table to prep Mary Jane for her potential interview regarding Lee’s Show (Lee is MJ’s ex boyfriend) the conversation got heated. It was actually more like a monologue, because Aaliyah sat quietly.
Here is what was said by MJ: “His project is trafficking in the same tired tropes.” “Black women are crazy, Black women are promiscuous, Black women are angry.” “But, have Black men ever taken responsibility for driving us to that?” “We live in a society that treats us like we’re the bottom of the barrel when it comes to romance.” “Couple that with constantly trying to prove ourselves as worthy enough, right?” ” Be confident baby girl, but not intimidating, be smart but not emasculating.” “Never enough but too much, too damn much, all at the same damn time.” “Men are encouraged to objectify our bodies, but the minute we search for sexual satisfaction oh baby we are called WHORES!”
I am sure that some people probably took this as Mary Jane being angry, or bitter even though that is not the message nor intent. However, does Mary Jane make some valid points? Shouldn’t Mary Jane have the right to be angry when she, and other Black women are looked upon as a last resort? The bottom of the barrel and/or less beautiful? Has anyone taken the time to discuss why many Black women feel the way that they (we) do? Of course Black women discuss these things amongst each other, but does anyone else care to listen for understanding instead of hearing us to respond and downplay our plight?
The truth of the matter is Black women are constantly walking on eggshells trying to be enough, and not too damn much! Where is the balance in being smart, and then engaging in a conversation yet being perceived as emasculating because of what you know? How is being confident intimidating unless you’re in some form of competition? Everyone should be confident in themselves without being egotistical. Black women can barely take a sexy picture without negative backlash. Men are encouraged to objectify the bodies of women. Yet women can’t seek to be satisfied sexually.
What’s the point of even having sex if you aren’t seeking physical satisfaction and pleasure? The entire ideology of Black women being promiscuous comes from slavery, and I’m exhausted with explaining that! If you didn’t know Black women did not enjoy being raped! Being raped for years does not equal promiscuity! If a Black woman does consider herself (is) to be promiscuous or sexually fluid that does not give anyone the right to disrespect her or judge her. Even if you feel like she may be disrespecting herself you still should respect her, because you don’t control the actions of others, you control yourself!
Did Mary Jane just express to the world what many of us have been thinking and feeling? If you were constantly jumping through hoops to fit a picture of what someone’s idea of you should be, wouldn’t that make you crazy at some point?
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The existence of Black people in this country (USA) is rooted in an extremely complicated past. By complicated, I mean children being taken from their Mothers and sold into slavery. Women being raped by the Master in order to produce more slaves. Husbands being emasculated by the Master in front of his wife and family; ultimately leaving him powerless. Did I mention women being raped in front of their husbands? Again, leaving the Black man powerless to protect her. Hundreds of years of beating, lynching, and being treated like animals has definitely taken a toll on our ethnic group as a whole. For hundreds of years Black women have been unprotected, and not just because of the cruelty of slavery. Continue reading “Between Black men & women..”
“Womanist is to feminist as purple is to lavender” -Alice Walker Continue reading “Black Feminist (Womanist)”
