I want to be perfect!
There seems to be an infatuation with being perfect. We want to post the perfect selfie. We want to record a video where we look perfect. We want our work and/or creative projects to be perfect. We want to give a perfect response or reply within conversation. Continue reading “I want to be perfect!”
I started my blog because I wanted to inform the people about what’s going on in the world, and to help people comprehend situations and circumstances beyond the surface. In fact I want people to question everything that they were ever told, because many of us have been told untruths. My website (blog) is my small contribution to the people. Recently I decided upon some new categories. One of the categories is “MONEY TALKS!” I’m a person that has struggled with saving money because I lack discipline in this area. Simply put I am a spend thrift and I know I am not the only one. I buy what I want and I’m unapologetic about it. However, I know that saving money is important. It doesn’t matter how much money you make either. If you’re bad with money you can be a millionaire and still be broke.
This is the first post for the Money Talks category. I am pleased that Sonia Perkins-Thompson, an entrepreneur with a Bachelor of Science in Business with a focus in financial management supplied LetsTalkRaeStyle with a video about budgeting. This is her contribution to the people.
A MESSAGE FROM SONIA!
“This video is a short “down to earth” basic why to create a budget. It gives examples and reasons on why creating a budget is so important. This video talks about the things we over look and do not think about when it comes to budgeting. We think sometimes it’s hard to budget and save but in reality, no one can win a game without a game plan. Focusing on the importance of discipline and other things mentioned in this video can lead to the goals you have in life.”
PLEASE SUBMIT ALL INQUIRIES IF ANY ON THE CONTACT PAGE
HERE IS THE VIDEO!
I cry when I’m alone. A lot. The thought of having to care for someone who depends on you and cannot survive without you is frightening. On top of that, my daughter screams my head off almost non stop on me, but is an angel with her dad. It’s frustrating. I’m always tired. I have a loved one who tends to criticize almost every decision I make regarding my child, and it makes me feel like I’m not doing anything right for my daughter. I miss my kid free life sometimes. I miss the freedom that I had when my husband and I could just wake up and hop in the car for a road trip, or go on a spontaneous date without the responsibility of having to bring a child along or find childcare for her. I have terrible anxiety. I’m always afraid to leave the house alone with my daughter, but I’m also always afraid to stay home alone with her. Of course I still end up doing both, but I’m in anxiety mode the entire time until we’re reunited with my husband.
I’ve battled some type of anxiety since the day my daughter was born. I’ve always dealt with it alone because I was afraid that if I shared my fears with my husband, I’d make him feel like it was somehow his fault, and because none of it is even remotely his fault (or anyone’s fault for that matter), that would make me feel even worse if he ever started feeling that way. I kept it from my friends who don’t have kids. I felt like like they couldn’t possibly understand. I also kept it from my fellow mommy friends because they all seemed like they had everything together. I’ve never seen them cry or complain. They always seemed so happy and eager to spend every waking moment with their little ones, so I figured this is what a normal mother should be like. I started feeling like maybe the feelings I had were selfish, and maybe I’m not a good mom because of those feelings, so I kept it to myself.
But then, a few days ago, I started scrolling through my Facebook timeline and a post that someone shared from a young mom popped up. She talked about the rough day in motherhood that she was experiencing. She talked about how she sat in her car at the store and cried. She talked about how sometimes she has to hide for a few, just to prevent herself from completely falling apart. That post had 18 THOUSAND shares. And then another post came across my timeline. It was a post from one of the mommy groups that I’m a part of. These mommies were on there pouring their hearts out about how rough it is to be a mom at times. Last time I checked, there were about 200 comments on that post. And then another post popped up. This mother said she cried and felt terrible about making her daughter eat school lunch because she was unable to get herself together to make her a homemade lunch. As I kept scrolling, I saw a few more posts from mothers who were having bad days and were beating themselves up about it. Up until recently, many of these mothers (myself included) kept these things to themselves, which I believe may also be a small part of why so many of us end up battling depression or anxiety. The more you keep things bottled up, the more it hurts you.
These posts made me realize that I’m not alone though, and that these feelings are perfectly fine to have. As much as we want to be, we are not Superwomen, and that’s ok. It doesn’t make us bad mothers at all. It doesn’t make us selfish, and it doesn’t make us crazy. It makes us normal human beings. There is no handbook to teach you how to navigate through motherhood, and you will have bad days. All of this is ok. You can cry, hide out for an hour, and even scream if you need to. You can then pick up the phone and call another mother to talk about it, because our feelings definitely need to be discussed more. They also need to be discussed with someone who has been in your shoes and will not judge you, and I guarantee that your other mom friends felt the same way at some point, and will be happy and relieved to have the conversation with you.
No matter what you are going through, and no matter how you’re working on addressing it, just remember that your breakdowns are ok, and you will be ok. Your babies love you, and no matter how you may be feeling about yourself at the moment, they think you are the greatest mommy in the world!
I can’t even begin to tell you how disgusted I am with some of the things that my people say about each other that makes no sense. Apparently it makes sense to them, but in all actuality they are usually extremely problematic or they are the views and opinions taken on by our oppressors. I’ve been carping about this very topic for at least the last 2 weeks. Every time I get ready to sit-down and create this blog, I see another statement made that’s extremely problematic. For example: A woman with a Black son was upset that some young teenage boys through something wet at her car while she was driving. She literally stated “I bet they have the type of parents that scream about police brutality and argue with teachers about what type of child they have.” I guess it’s okay for police to beat and or kill the teenage boys since they did something stupid that teenagers often do, right? PROBLEMATIC!
Below are 11 of the top problematic statements that Black people make about Black people.
1. “If Black Lives Mattered we wouldn’t have Black on Black crime!”
NEWS FLASH!! Black on Black crime is a term of propaganda created by the media in the 60’s! The fact of the matter is people of all ethnicities kill people that look like them! That is a FACT! Black Lives matter was created because when Black people are killed by the police or whomever is feeling trigger happy that is not Black gets a pass for killing a Black person. The killing is somehow justified and justice is never served. This has been going on for centuries! Also, if you think Black people like the crime or take crime lightly that happens within our own communities it’s obvious that you have never been to a stop the violence rally or protest! Which, means you are not active or really paying attention to what’s happening in your community!
BOTTOMLINE: STOP SAYING THAT STUPID SHIT!
2. If the NFL players aren’t protesting why should I?
You should be protesting because you should have the common sense to realize that the NFL is making a powerful statement about how they feel about Black people as a whole. If you didn’t know what that powerful statement was let me tell you. The NFL’s statement was “we don’t care about your hard times in America due to you being a Black man. Just make our money BOY!” Not standing or kneeling is not disrespecting the flag, the country, or those who have served in the armed forces. They are just using those things to prevent you from speaking about the real issue which is the historically poor, unfair, unjust, inhumane, treatment of Black people in this country! THAT’S THE REASON PLAYERS ARE KNEELING OR SITTING DURING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM!
BOTTOMLINE: THINK! Maybe you could figure somethings out and stop letting a sport you don’t get paid to watch or play run your life!
3. “I want a mixed baby.”
Do I even have to explain this? You wanting a “mixed” baby is just stating you don’t like the features of Black babies. You don’t like yourself and how you look. You think that having a close Caucasian gene makes your baby better or special! It doesn’t If you want a mixed baby get a Poodle mixed with a Yorkshire, because animals are mixed not people!
BOTTOMLINE: You’re IGNORANT! LOVE YOURSELF IDIOT!
4. I can’t stand being around Black people.
You are Black and your statement is ignorant. What makes you think any other ethnicity wants to be around you?
BOTTOMLINE: SHUTUP and get some class!
5. Speaking negatively about a movement that Black people have started to create awareness about social injustice.
Either you are going to support the movement or not! No one needs your criticism when a larger motive or goal is the objective! You being negative in an attempt to disassociate yourself isn’t necessary. You could just be quiet.
BOTTOMLINE: SUPPORT THE CAUSE OR SHUTUP!
6. Stop telling Black people where they went wrong after being beaten and/or handcuffed for no reason by the police.
If you haven’t realized that it doesn’t matter what you do or say if an officer decides to kick your A$$ that’s exactly what’s going to happen. It doesn’t matter what you’re wearing or what you say!
BOTTOMLINE: HELP STOP THE ACCEPTANCE OF POLICE BRUTALITY!
7. “She’s pretty to be dark-skin.”
Are you serious? She’s pretty period! Complexion doesn’t matter.
BOTTOMLINE: GET OFF THE PLANTATION FO MASSA COME BACK!
8. “She got good hair.”
There is no such thing as GOOD HAIR! There are different types of textures of hair. For example kinky, wavy, curly, straight, thick, and or soft.
BOTTOMLINE: LOVE THE HAIR THAT YOU HAVE. I DON’T KNOW A SINGLE WOMAN THAT LIKES HER HAIR, NO MATTER THE TEXTURE!
9. “Nah he’s not Black Black he’s from Trindad.”
Slaves were dropped off in the Caribbean, Jamaica, Brazil, Argentina, Chile, Bolivia, Barbados, Dominican Republic, Haiti,Buenos Aires, Ecuador, Cuba, and Puerto Rico! There are more places but this was just to name a few. The slaves in North America were the leftover slaves!
BOTTOMLINE: We have the same African Ancestry! We have been separated by land and culture, which CREATES THE ILLUSION THAT WE ARE DIFFERENT PEOPLE BUT WE ARE NOT!
10. Any time a black celebrity (ie R. Kelly and Bill Cosby) get caught in their bullshit, you all say it’s just because they’re black,
They are disgusting humans getting caught up in their devilsih ways! Just because you like what they represent doesn’t mean that’s who they are! Then you compare them to White celebrities that have been accused of the same thing! NEWS FLASH THEY AREN’T WHITE!
BOTTOMLINE: Stop blaming the victim and focus on the pattern of the CRIMINAL! If they are so innocent leave your daughters and nieces with them.
11. Stating since there are problems within the Black community we have no reason or right to complain about how other groups of people treat us.
This is the most disappointing statement I’ve seen! No other group of people have the history that we have as far as coming to this country, and being separated by complexion! Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and dignity regardless of what the next person has done!
BOTTOMLINE: If you want to shuck and jive and be disrespectful to impress or fit in with another Ethnic group, go by yourself! The rest of us aren’t going with you! BE THE CHANGE THAT YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD!
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I made a Facebook status posing the question “when did being an independent woman equal not needing or wanting a man?” Of course the comments section blew up. Some people stated that social media has a lot to do with this new found definition, while others said they actually heard women stating that they are independent and don’t need a man. However, I’m sure that the statement of not needing a man is being misinterpreted. Continue reading “She has her own: Independent Women.”
It’s that time of year again! Black Friday! The time when parents are doing whatever they can to get their children everything on their Christmas list, only to turn around and give the credit to a chubby Caucasian man in a red suit! And don’t you just love the crowded malls and cranky impatient people?! Although many of us are well aware of the shopping madness associated with Black Friday, a couple of years ago, a post started going around via social media that suggested that Black Friday originated from slave owners selling slaves for discounted prices. The post confused many people, prompting boycotts and making people question whether or not their original understanding of Black Friday was true or not.
I am here to tell you that it’s NOT true! With all of the current issues and events connected to racism and slavery, I understand why people were so readily accepting the myth of Black Friday originating from the slave trade. However, it’s just not true. After doing some research, I discovered that Black Friday originated in Philadelphia in the 1950’s. Traffic cops had to work 12 hour shifts to monitor the outrageous parking, traffic, and crowds of people that were a result in the annual Army-Navy football game that was held in the city every year.
Last year, African Americans and other groups boycotted Black Friday. The majority boycotted due to large corporations not taking a stand with Black people when innocent unarmed Blacks were being gunned down by police. If you want to boycott Black Friday this year for that same reason, go right ahead! Whatever reason you choose, just remember that just because you see it on a meme, it doesn’t make it true! If you choose to boycott this year, be sure to research the causes before you commit to one. Choosing to shop with Black owned businesses on Black Friday is also a great alternative!
Happy holidays if you celebrate! Bah humbug if you don’t!
It seems since the take over of social media many people have become desensitized about what’s inappropriate to say and or do depending upon the situation. Here are some random things you shouldn’t do or ask- “Is that your real hair?” That’s so rude! Asking a person how much they pay for personal items is inappropriate unless you have that kind of friendship with them. Taking selfies at a funeral is inappropriate, period! It’s not about how cute you think you look at a funeral it’s about paying your respect to the deceased. Putting your children’s faults or personal mishaps on social media is inappropriate! That’s not the publics business! Then you get mad when someone comments on the situation even though you made it accessible for comments. Continue reading “Don’t say it…”
By Katrina Hamilton