Anxiety disorder is the most common mental illness in the United States, affecting about 40 million adults per year. It’s not unusual for people who have anxiety to also suffer from depression, and vice versa. The most common form of depression is Major Depressive Disorder- which affects roughly around 16.1 million adults.
Some of us suffer from both anxiety and depression when major life altering events occur, such as losing your job, death, a break up, and even your family expanding. If you have never experienced either one, consider yourself lucky, but when you receive that call from a friend or family member please keep these things in mind to be considerate:
1.DON’T SAY “I think you’re overreacting. It’s not that bad.” To the person suffering, it IS that bad. Try saying something like “I know things will get better for you even though you may not be able to see it that way right now.”
2. DON’T START telling them what your problems are in an effort to deflect. It really just makes you seem selfish. Instead, just let them know that you understand and that you are there to listen.
3. DON’T SAY “SHAKE IT OFF!” or “SNAP OUT OF IT!” After all, this isn’t a Mariah Carey song. You’re talking to someone you care about, right? Telling them to snap out of it is not acknowledging that they really are in pain. Instead, ask if there is anything you can do to help.
4. DON’T SAY “Life isn’t fair.” That statement basically diminishes their particular situation. Not to mention no one asked you about life being fair! (rolls eyes) Instead, you could say something like “I’m proud of you for even taking the time to acknowledge your struggles and talking about them.”
5. DON’T SAY “You’re bringing me down!” If you’re an insensitive emotional garbage can and can’t handle supporting a loved one in their time of need, I would suggest you don’t play the fake caring game. However, you could say “I’m here for you.”
6. DON’T SAY “You don’t look depressed.” This is not TV! Just because someone is walking around with a dark cloud over their head doesn’t mean they aren’t depressed. Depression, like may other illnesses, does not have a specific look! Instead, suggest that they tell you more about what’s going on, so you can develop a better understanding.
7. DON’T SAY “GET OVER IT!” Do you think people want to suffer from anxiety or depression? If they could get over it with a waive of a magic wand they probably would. Try asking how you can help them.
8. DON’T SAY “You need to calm down.” Unfortunately anxiety heightens everything that’s happening. Therefore, calming down isn’t really an available option. What you could do is make a suggestion. “Hey, I know some activities that may help you channel your anxiety that may result into calmness such as exercising, meditating, yoga, reading, etc.”
Show your support by listening, asking questions, and leaving preconceived notions behind!