What about Your Friends?

Do you remember your first friend ever in life? Do you recall how important it was to play with your friend (assuming that you met your first friend as a child)? My very first friend always played with me. Having someone to play with me was always of importance because my cousins were eithet older or younger than me. However developing that friendship was extremely easy and pure.

As we develop as humans, we have more requirements on whom we allow to be in our lives as friends, yet their importance doesn’t change. From ages 12 to 17 your entire life revolves around school and your friends. Between those ages, friendships were fragile. A three way call could end everything! Well, now, I suppose a screen shot and text messages could ruin some friendships. As teens, you quarrel with your friends one week and you’re friends again the following week.

With time and experience along with meeting people from all walks of life we lose and gain friends, often. What a person considers to be a friend varies. Some people have different types of friends. The friend you party with, the friends you shop with, the friends you get great advice from etc. Going into friendships you expect or hope that your friends have the same great intentions of laughter, support, positivity, and encouragement. However, when the behavior of your friend or friends becomes questionable it’s time to reevaluate your friendships. I’m a believer in accepting people for who they are. However, it never occurred to me that they may have never been the friend I thought they were.

It’s always best to actually talk to your friends about your concerns but you can only talk so much. The harsh reality is everyone that you consider a friend may not really be a friend to you. Some people are your friends temporarily! When they are going through a problem they need your support so they suck up all your energy by dumping their emotional garbage on you. When they are back to themselves you don’t hear from them. Some people are your friends because they have “Single White Female” syndrome (SWFS). SWFS is when a female “friend” imitates or attempts everything you do. You change your hairstyle they get the same hairstyle. You buy new glasses they go and replicate those glasses. I guess you can call that a copy cat. I’m sure everyone is familiar with the user “friend” of some kind, so there is no need to explain. How about the friend that withholds important information from you because he or she wants to be friends with everyone?! That type of needy behavior is questionable within itself. What about the friend or friends that embellish the truth to portray themselves and their lives in a certain light? Maybe this particular friend lies about small things but a lie is a lie, right? Should you accept lying from a friend? After all it’s just a part of who they are, right?

Being a friend isn’t about length of time you’ve known person, or how long you’ve been friends. People are often caught up with time frames. The best friend you ever had could be someone you met last year! Friendship isn’t about talking everyday! As adults we all have lives, obligations, and responsibilities, so I would hope that in a friendship, communicating daily isn’t on the list of requirements.

If maintaining a friendship becomes exhausting, hurtful, harmful, or if you feel as if you’re the only person interested in maintaining the friendship, it may be time to let that friendship dissolve, it usually dissolves on it’s own. Meaning no one is putting effort into the friendship. There is no communication and no cause of concern. They simply seem to disappear.

People change and some friends just aren’t worth your time anymore and don’t fit in your life. Make time for those that match your efforts. As your priorities change know your boundaries as well as what you can tolerate from friends. Losing friends is a normal process within your growth! Just smile at the memories, you have and know that it’s okay to move on from the friendship.